Weekly Inspiration #37

Hello, my name is Sara Foley, and I suffer from Imposter Syndrome.

This is where my mind shouts, “You don’t belong here! You are an imposter!” and then adds, sotto voce,”If you just keep quiet, nobody will find out.”

Hey, I know I am not the only one this happens to – we probably all feel like this from time to time, except maybe for the narcissists – so I thought I’d share with you something that happened to me this week.

I have been working as a teacher’s aide for about 9 months. During that time, I have had several Imposter Syndrome occurences, usually when I am sent to do a workshop, seminar, function or other event where I am surrounded by teachers, Principals and other staff. This particular time, my boss, the Principal of the school I work for, asked me to come along to a Year 7 Transition Meeting at the local High-school. My son is going into Year 7 next year, so I have a special interest – plus, you know, I am a sticky beak – I like to know how everything works.

We go in separate cars, and I arrive about 20 minutes earlier than my boss, leaving me with very important Teacher and Principal people – and me the only lowly teacher’s aide. IMPOSTER! In addition to this, the smell of the library where we are meeting has given me an intense throwback to when I was in year 7, at this very school. Visions of the books I borrowed, and the excitement I felt when I first walked in here – all these books! so little time! – flash in front of my eyes, making me a little giddy.

They are wanting our feedback on the process of transition – which I know nothing about, having never had anything to do with it. IMPOSTER! my mind shouted at me. Lay low, be quiet…it whispered. Finally, my boss walks in, and I refrain from throwing my arms about her neck in relief and smile calmly at her instead. So we go about the room in groups, having conversations, with me watching and listening, trying to get a handle on what’s going on. It soon becomes clear that the high-school is worried about its drop in enrollments, with more and more parents choosing to send their children to one of the private high-schools both in and out of the valley.

All of a sudden, I am talking. I say that one of the key ways to build enrollments is through nurturing good relationships with the feeder primary schools in the area, and one of the ways that you are already doing that is through the Valley 10, an affiliation between all the public schools in the valley. But, I said, this group has no web presence at all, which I found out when working on our school’s website, and I went looking for a link. Nothing at all. If they are serious about working together, I said, then you really need a website. There is silence as everyone looks at me, including my boss. And then there is a nodding of heads and more questions: how? who? where? My boss walks over to the butcher’s paper of ideas and writes it down as discussions continue. I feel giddy. I talked! They listened!

As I’m driving home, I laugh at myself. Even though I feel like an imposter and tell myself I know nothing, I can’t help myself but participate. I may not know what to teach kids or the latest education pedagogy – but I still know stuff. And you know what? So do you.

So, fess up – who has felt like an imposter? What were you doing and how did you deal with it?

Best Short Read

Bringing a Daughter Back From the Brink with Poems by Betsy McWhinney for The New York Times.

Okay, look. If you only read one thing this week, make it this one. It will not disappoint, that I can promise you. It may make you cry, but that’s okay – your eyes needed a wash anyway, didn’t they?

When George W. Bush was re-elected in 2004, my 13-year-old daughter, Marisa, was so angry that she stopped wearing shoes.

She chose the most ineffective rebellion imaginable: two little bare feet against the world. She declared that she wouldn’t wear shoes again until we had a new president.

I had learned early in motherhood that it’s not worth fighting with your children about clothes, so I watched silently as she strode off barefoot each morning, walking down the long gravel driveway in the cold, rainy darkness to wait for the bus.

The principal called me a few times, declaring that Marisa had to start wearing shoes or she would be suspended. I passed the messages on, but my daughter continued her barefoot march.

After about four months, she donned shoes without comment. I didn’t ask why. I wasn’t sure if wearing shoes was a sign of failure or maturity; asking her seemed like it could add unnecessary insult to injury.

Click here to read what happened next…

Best Astrology

So. How’s your week been? Have you noticed either yourself or other people being particularly prone to rants, road rage, random attacks or insomnia? Or have you been working your butt off, being uber productive/creative with a gluteus maximus crunching exercise regime to manage your energy? Or maybe a mixture of both :). Mars is mucking up this week, in conjunction to Uranus and squaring Pluto, the two planets that are part of the all important zap zone, which is gearing up for its last clash next week. Mars is just warming us up :). We have a Mars-type household – the Bear is an Aries sun, and I am an Aries rising. Fortunately the Universe conspired to make sure we only spent one night together during the week :). The Bear is literally and metaphorically harvesting and true to Aries form is strutting and totally up himself in the best possible way. I love it when he’s like that, especially when he’s 40 minutes away :). My week has been creative, productive and fun with not much sleep. I’m working on three writing projects at the moment, and getting up bat-shit early to fit it in, heaps of yoga, working of course and painting the house (yay! One of my 2015 goals!). Of course I don’t need to mention cleaning, cooking, washing, kid wrangling because that stuff just gets done. Mars energy says: if you’re going to do something, do it properly. In that theme, I have also scheduled in radical rest and fun – a day out at the river with a friend, a movie and a crystal healing with my Mum. YES!

Best Watch

A description of the Chakra System and how to balance and cleanse each chakra – for children, Airbender style. Can you believe this stuff is mainstream now?

Best Words

I love this piece on Friday the 13th from Carol Barbeau:

Read this and perhaps change your beliefs about this magical day.

Friday the 13th is a day to celebrate the Goddess of Love, Prosperity and Good Fortune. In ancient times when a 13 month lunar calendar was kept with seven day weeks, there were 13 Friday the 13ths each year and there were considered holy days with ceremonial Celebrations for the Goddess on Friday the 13th also considered a day of Great fortune and luck. …Urban legends has this to say about Friday the 13th…

Some say Friday’s bad reputation goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. It was on a Friday, supposedly, that Eve tempted Adam With the forbidden fruit. Adam bit, as we all learned in Sunday school, And they were both ejected from Paradise. Tradition also holds that the Great Flood began on a Friday; God tongue-tied the builders of the Tower Of Babel on a Friday; the Temple of Solomon was destroyed on a Friday; And, of course, Friday was the day of the week on which Christ was Crucified. It is therefore a day of penance for Christians.

In pagan Rome, Friday was execution day (later Hangman’s Day in Britain), but in other pre-Christian cultures it was the Sabbath, a day Of worship, so those who indulged in secular or self-interested Activities on that day could not expect to receive blessings from the Gods – which may explain the lingering taboo on embarking on journeys or Starting important projects on Fridays.

To complicate matters, these pagan associations were not lost on The early Church, which went to great lengths to suppress them. If Friday was a holy day for heathens; it must not be so for Christians – Thus it became known in the middle Ages as the “Witches’ Sabbath,” and Thereby hangs another tale.

The name “Friday” came from a Norse deity worshipped on the Sixth day, known either as Frigg (goddess of marriage and fertility), or Freya (goddess of sex and fertility), or both, the two figures having Become intertwined in the handing-down of myths over time (the etymology Of “Friday” has been given both ways. Frigg/Freya corresponded to Venus, The goddess of love of the Romans, who named the sixth day of the week In her honor “dies Veneris.”

Friday was actually considered quite lucky by pre-Christian Teutonic peoples, we are told – especially as a day to get married – Because of its traditional association with love and fertility. All that Changed when Christianity came along. The goddess of the sixth day – Most likely Freya in this context, given that the cat was her sacred Animal – was recast in post-pagan folklore as a witch, and her day Became associated with evil doings.

Best Long Read

The Afterlife of Billy Fingers – How my bad-boy brother proved to me there’s life after death by Annie Kagan.

This book has been perched patiently in my to read lists for about 12 months. Finally this week I read it. To say I loved it would be a slight understatement :). This book is like a precious jewel, iridescent, shining and inspirational. A pure joy to read, light filled, hopeful and loving. The real deal. It isn’t very long, and goes down like a sparkling cider on a hot day. If you haven’t read it, the story goes like this: Billy dies, plunging his sister into deep grief. About three weeks later, he wakes her from a deep sleep and starts talking to her, telling her what is happening to him in the afterlife, giving her his new perspective on his often troubled life on Earth, and giving her guidance and wisdom. Funny, sad and very wise. I particularly loved this:

You are both the Oyster and the Pearl. As the garden grows inside you, water the flowers and don’t forget the sand of the spiritual work is only the sand in the oyster that makes a pearl. It’s the irritant that makes a pearl.

This oyster and the pearl analogy so resonated with me that I fished my string of freshwater pearls that my parents had bought for me on their travels in Vietnam and Cambodia and wrapped them in a double stranded loop around my wrist, just to remind me.

Best Graphic

And to sum up my week:

That’s it from me – have a beautiful weekend. ❤

PSSSTTTT

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