Structure and discipline. What?

So, as many of you will know, both of my children are at school this year for the very first time. I had big plans and expectations (damn you expectations!) as to how this year would look, mostly along the lines of massively increased productivity and freedom.

Yeeeessssss.

I am not sure how or why, but for some reason I am less productive than when the Fairy Queen was at home – or if not less productive, then certainly nowhere near as effective. I haven’t even been able to fit in a daily yoga practice!

I have been becoming more and more frustrated with how my days seem to be evaporating with nothing to show for them – unless you count a flourishing facebook conversation and a clean feng shui’d house! Not that there’s anything wrong with either of those things…but.

My inner boss gave me an absolute pasting the other day. You need to be more disciplined and structured. Resistance! I want to be free and unrestricted! But you don’t get anything done! Hmmmm you have a point…but I still want to be able to flow with the day rather than putting rigid restrictions and timetables on my day – I have had to train myself out of that! Well, you need to find a middle way. Get on it. 

🙂

The more I thought about it, the more I went around in circles, getting nowhere. So I decided to stop thinking about it, and hand my problem over to the Divine (as Tosha Silver talks about in her amazing book Outrageous Openness) or God, or the Angels or your guides or the universe or your higher self or whatever you want to call it . That night as I lay down in bed, I told the Divine (or whoever was listening) my problem, and asked for help in solving it. Clearly, I saw an image of myself getting up early (like I normally do), going over to the cottage (like I normally do) and then not turning on the computer :). Instead, I lit some candles and an incense stick, sat down on my cushion and began to breathe.  That’s it. Just breathe. I needed to get in touch with myself and the flow of the day and let that connected, grounded self plan my day. And then I needed to ask myself, what do you want to do next?

That first day, what my connected, grounded self wanted to do next was yoga. After that, I switched on the computer – but I had a completely different head space! I got the kids ready for school, whizzed around the house, hung some washing out – and then did more on my assessment in one morning than I had done in the previous 2 weeks. I had to go over to the school that afternoon to listen to the children read in the afternoon, but I had gotten a whole day’s work done in the morning, so it didn’t matter!

The second day, today, my connected grounded self wanted to do yoga, and then start writing this blog. By 2 pm I have managed to finish my assignment and send it in, do a bit of work for an event I am helping to plan, write and publish this blog, as well as do the housework, plan dinner and play on facebook – and there is still plenty of day left.

Was it starting the day with yoga? Was it starting the day grounded and connected? Was it all of the above?   I don’t know, but I can tell you this:

1. Some problems cannot be thought through with the mind because they are caused by the mind.  

2. We get into ruts, all of us and we fool ourselves into thinking that these ruts are helping us. They are not.

3. There is a lot to be said about our morning routines and rituals and how they contribute to our whole day.

Have you ever had this problem? What did you do about it?

This post was inspired by this article.